When you're a dancer, you start with the basics. You don't all of a sudden do a grand jete and pirouette. You start with first position, second, third.

My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.

Wives are people who think it's against the law not to answer the phone when it rings.

Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible; in a world where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle.

Yes, I've now got this nice little apartment in New York, one of those L-shaped ones. Unfortunately, it's a lower case l.

Men who can eat anything they want and not gain weight should do it out of sight of the women they're married to.

A saleslady holds up an ugly dress and says, 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?