There is a woman who swam around Manhattan, and I asked her, why? She said, it hadn't ever been done before. Well, she didn't have to do that. If she wanted to something no one had ever done before, all she had to do was vacuum my apartment.

When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.

Buying something on sale is a very special feeling. In fact, the less I pay for something, the more it is worth to me. I have a dress that I paid so little for that I am afraid to wear it. I could spill something on it, and then how would I replace it for that amount of money?

I jogged for three miles once. It was the worst three hours of my life.

I don't think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups.

Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible; in a world where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle.

I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.