Wives are people who think it's against the law not to answer the phone when it rings.

I suffer from peroxide phobia. Every time I've gotten near a blond woman, something of mine has disappeared. Jobs, boyfriends... one time an angora sweater leaped right off my body.

All men think that they're nice guys. Some of them are not. Contact me for a list of names.

To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'

Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.

Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.

Men will now get up and walk with the baby in the middle of the night, change its diapers, and give it a bottle, but in their heart of hearts they still think they shouldn't have to.