Wives are people who think it's against the law not to answer the phone when it rings.

When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.

The logic was, there weren't too many female comedians, so I thought I might as well try a field that had fewer competitors than the field I was in, which was acting, singing and dancing.

Eye contact is a method utilised by a single woman to communicate to a man that she is interested in him. Many women find it difficult to look a man directly in the eyes, not because of shyness, but because a woman's eyes are not located in her chest.

I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.

It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was.