When men break up they want to remain friends. Why? Why can't they just get lost?
If it's attention you want, don't get involved with a man during play-off season.
I get so happy when I write a joke. It's a very satisfying, liberating feeling.
Don't try to teach men how to do anything in public. They can learn in private; in public they have to know.
At the end of every year, I add up the time that I have spent on the phone on hold and subtract it from my age. I don't count that time as really living. I spend more and more time on hold each year. By the time I die, I'm going to be quite young.
I'm going to start water skiing someday...as soon as I can separate it from being dragged by a boat.