Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible; in a world where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle.

Men love watches with multiple functions. My husband has one that is a combination address book, telescope and piano.

I can see close up and my husband can see far away, so we're covered. He tells me who's in the movie and I tell him what's in his sandwich. Together we're human bifocals.

I hate learning through experience. Just once I'd like to learn something because someone was nice enough to tell me in advance.

... life is broken down into these stages: you're born and you don't know how anything works; gradually you find out how everything works; technology evolves and slowly there are a few things you can't work; at the end, you don't know how anything works.

Going out to eat is expensive. I was out at one restaurant and they didn't have prices on the menu. Just faces with different expressions of horror.

When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.