In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I've never seen a man walk into a party and say "Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed; get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo.

I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.

If you buy your husband or boyfriend a video camera, for the first few weeks he has it, lock the door when you go to the bathroom. Most of my husband's early films end with a scream and a flush.

Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.

They usually have two tellers in my local bank, except when it's very busy, when they have one.

My Vegas act is how I make my money.