A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.

Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it. If you feel the need to marry a doctor, I suggest a dermatologist. Good hours, free Retin-A.

Never take candy from strangers.

If you're dating a man who you think might be "Mr. Right," if he a) got older, b) got a new job, or c) visited a psychiatrist, you are in for a nasty surprise. The cocoon-to-butterfly theory only works on cocoons and butterflies.

Los Angeles is a very transient town. It's the only place I know where you can actually rent a dog.

If your husband has difficulty getting to sleep, the words 'we need to talk about our relationship' may help.

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy, the first question I ask myself is: is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?