All men are afraid of eyelash curlers. They don't understand them, and they don't want to get near them. I sleep with one under my pillow, instead of a gun.
Rita RudnerThe time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him
Rita RudnerWhen I want to end a relationship I just say, 'You know, I love you. I want to marry you. I want to have your children.' Sometimes they leave skid marks.
Rita Rudner