Not one man in a beer commercial has a beerbelly.

Men who can eat anything they want and not gain weight should do it out of sight of the women they're married to.

Men who tell you they read the Ann Summers catalogue for the articles are lying

Los Angeles is a very transient town. It's the only place I know where you can actually rent a dog.

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself "well, that's not going to happen

Cats are a waste of fur.

My Vegas act is how I make my money.