I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.

I don't like when there's too much conversation because I'm shy and it makes me uncomfortable.

I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.

At the end of every year, I add up the time that I have spent on the phone on hold and subtract it from my age. I don't count that time as really living. I spend more and more time on hold each year. By the time I die, I'm going to be quite young.

I never panic when I get lost. I just change where it is I want to go.

My father was never very friendly. When I was growing up, I thought the doorbell ringing was a signal to pretend you weren't home.

Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?