In high school I was voted the girl most likely to become a nun. That may not be impressive to you, but it was quite an accomplishment at the Hebrew Academy.

I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.

If a man prepares dinner for you and the salad contains three or more types of lettuce, he is serious.

I adore being hitched. It's so extraordinary to discover one unique individual you need to irritate for whatever remains of your life.

I'm a very simple person. I'm very shallow. Shallow, simple, easily pleased: that's me.

You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.

I have too many credit cards. You know what happened? Someone stole one and I didn't notice. I noticed when I got that bill. Whoa! It was so much less! I'm letting him keep it. I'm saving money!