The logic was, there weren't too many female comedians, so I thought I might as well try a field that had fewer competitors than the field I was in, which was acting, singing and dancing.

Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the police came, he wouldn't admit he'd forgotten the code... he turned himself in.

Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.

I was going with someone for a few years, but we broke up. It was one of those things. He wanted to get married, and I didn't want him to.

The older theory was, marry an older man because they're more mature. But the new theory is men don't mature. Marry a younger one.

Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.

Most women are introspective: "Am I in love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled?" Most men are outrospective: "Did my team win? How's my car?"