I never panic when I get lost. I just change where it is I want to go.
It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was.
Waiters and waitresses are becoming nicer and much more caring. I used to pay my check, they would say "Thank you." That's now escalated into "You care care of yourself, now." The other day I paid my check and the waiter said, "Don't put off that mammogram."
Not one man in a beer commercial has a beerbelly.
When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.
If you buy your husband or boyfriend a video camera, for the first few weeks he has it, lock the door when you go to the bathroom. Most of my husband's early films end with a scream and a flush.