Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps.

Most women are introspective: "Am I in love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled?" Most men are outrospective: "Did my team win? How's my car?"

My Vegas act is how I make my money.

Men don't live well by themselves. They don't even live like people. They live like bears with furniture.

My mother was the worst cook ever. In school, when we traded lunches, I had to throw in an article of clothing.

All men look nerdy in black socks and sandals.

Men who tell you they read the Ann Summers catalogue for the articles are lying