I suffer from peroxide phobia. Every time I've gotten near a blond woman, something of mine has disappeared. Jobs, boyfriends... one time an angora sweater leaped right off my body.

There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.

Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I've never seen a man walk into a party and say "Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed; get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo.

I'm a very simple person. I'm very shallow. Shallow, simple, easily pleased: that's me.

Impulse buying is not macho. Men rarely call the Home Shopping Network.

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself "well, that's not going to happen

Men are less sentimental than women. No man has ever seen the movie THE WAY WE WERE twice, voluntarily.