I don't like when there's too much conversation because I'm shy and it makes me uncomfortable.

Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.

There is a woman who swam around Manhattan, and I asked her, why? She said, it hadn't ever been done before. Well, she didn't have to do that. If she wanted to something no one had ever done before, all she had to do was vacuum my apartment.

I want to have young children although my mother and father are even now young sufficient to just take care of them.

Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.

I had no desire to be a stand-up comic until I decided to do it.

Never play peek-a-boo with a child on a long plane trip. There's no end to the game. Finally I grabbed him by the bib and said, "Look, it's always gonna be me!"