The closest I ever came to a menage-a-trois was when I dated a schizophrenic.

I have a hold limit that I've set for myself. I hold until I start to imagine myself killing the person on the other end. Then I hang up and regroup.

There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.

The way a man looks at himself in a mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else.

I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.

I jogged for three miles once. It was the worst three hours of my life.

When I was a kid, I had two friends, and they were imaginary and they would only play with each other.