When men break up they want to remain friends. Why? Why can't they just get lost?

I loved my mother very much, but she was not a good cook. Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before. In our house Thanksgiving was a time for sorrow.

When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.

Good weather all the week, but come the weekend the weather stinks. When the weather is too hot they complain, too cold they complain, and when it's just right, they're watching TV.

The older theory was, marry an older man because they're more mature. But the new theory is men don't mature. Marry a younger one.

A man will go to war, fight and die for his country. But he won't get a bikini wax.

Men have better self-images than women. You know what I've never seen in a men's magazine? A makeover.