The way a man looks at himself in a mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else.

Men don't live well by themselves. They don't even live like people. They live like bears with furniture.

My husband is so confident that when he watches sports on television, he thinks that if he concentrates he can help his team. If the team is in trouble, he coaches the players from our living room, and if they're really in trouble, I have to get off the phone in case they call him.

I hate learning through experience. Just once I'd like to learn something because someone was nice enough to tell me in advance.

The way a man looks at himself in a mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else.

Men do cry, but only when assembling furniture.

Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.