Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.

Good weather all the week, but come the weekend the weather stinks. When the weather is too hot they complain, too cold they complain, and when it's just right, they're watching TV.

Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.

My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.

The logic was, there weren't too many female comedians, so I thought I might as well try a field that had fewer competitors than the field I was in, which was acting, singing and dancing.

Men who can eat anything they want and not gain weight should do it out of sight of the women they're married to.

I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.