If you're dating a man who you think might be "Mr. Right," if he a) got older, b) got a new job, or c) visited a psychiatrist, you are in for a nasty surprise. The cocoon-to-butterfly theory only works on cocoons and butterflies.

Men love watches with multiple functions. My husband has one that is a combination address book, telescope and piano.

Husband: a man who buys his football tickets four months in advance and waits until the day before his anniversary to buy his wife a gift.

My Vegas act is how I make my money.

When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.

I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.

All men look nerdy in black socks and sandals.