I get so happy when I write a joke. It's a very satisfying, liberating feeling.

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.

A saleslady holds up an ugly dress and says, 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?

All men look at Dr. Ruth and wonder how she has gained all that sexual experience.

All men would still really like to own a train set.

Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.