Individuality in dressing is not important to men. If they all look alike it means they haven't made a mistake.

Going out to eat is expensive. I was out at one restaurant and they didn't have prices on the menu. Just faces with different expressions of horror.

Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.

A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.

All men look nerdy in black socks and sandals.

Impulse buying is not macho. Men rarely call the Home Shopping Network.

Men don't mature. Marry a younger one.