When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she will assume she has gained weight. When a man tries something from his closet that feels tight, he will assume the clothing has shrunk.

Blondes have more fun, don't they? They must. How many brunettes do you see walking down the street with blond roots?

If your husband has difficulty getting to sleep, the words 'we need to talk about our relationship' may help.

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.

I just love dogs, and there really is no better companion than an animal.

To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'

I hate learning through experience. Just once I'd like to learn something because someone was nice enough to tell me in advance.