Most of the men sitting in first class on an airplane have really boring jobs.

I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country; people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again.

I loved my mother very much, but she was not a good cook. Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before. In our house Thanksgiving was a time for sorrow.

They usually have two tellers in my local bank, except when it's very busy, when they have one.

If I say a joke and the audience laughs it makes me feel good.

... life is broken down into these stages: you're born and you don't know how anything works; gradually you find out how everything works; technology evolves and slowly there are a few things you can't work; at the end, you don't know how anything works.

The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him