I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country; people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again.

One of my first office jobs was cleaning the windows on brown envelopes.

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself "well, that's not going to happen

I just love dogs, and there really is no better companion than an animal.

Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?

It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was.

Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.