The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.

Most of the men sitting in first class on an airplane have really boring jobs.

Buying something on sale is a very special feeling. In fact, the less I pay for something, the more it is worth to me. I have a dress that I paid so little for that I am afraid to wear it. I could spill something on it, and then how would I replace it for that amount of money?

The older theory was, marry an older man because they're more mature. But the new theory is men don't mature. Marry a younger one.

Good weather all the week, but come the weekend the weather stinks. When the weather is too hot they complain, too cold they complain, and when it's just right, they're watching TV.

My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.

Be careful of men who are bald and rich; the arrogance of "rich" usually cancels out the nice of "bald".