Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.

I have been doing leg lifts faithfully for about fifteen years, and the only thing that has gotten thinner is the carpet where I have been doing the leg lifts.

Human nature is largely something that has to be overcome.

I rationalize shop. I buy a dress because I need change for gum.

To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'

My father watched football with the sound off because he lived in fear of hearing the voice of Howard Cosell.

How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue...and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake? Where does the glue go?