One of my first office jobs was cleaning the windows on brown envelopes.

I rationalize shop. I buy a dress because I need change for gum.

They usually have two tellers in my local bank, except when it's very busy, when they have one.

All men think that they're nice guys. Some of them are not. Contact me for a list of names.

I had no desire to be a stand-up comic until I decided to do it.

My husband is so confident that when he watches sports on television, he thinks that if he concentrates he can help his team. If the team is in trouble, he coaches the players from our living room, and if they're really in trouble, I have to get off the phone in case they call him.

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.