Never take candy from strangers.
One of my first office jobs was cleaning the windows on brown envelopes.
I rationalize shop. I buy a dress because I need change for gum.
When I want to end a relationship I just say, 'You know, I love you. I want to marry you. I want to have your children.' Sometimes they leave skid marks.
Men do cry, but only when assembling furniture.
Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.