Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

Men own basketball teams. Every year cheerleaders' outfits get tighter and briefer, and players' shorts get baggier and longer.

Men love to be the first to read the newspaper in the morning. Not being the first is upsetting to their psyches.

Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps.

I started taking ballet lessons when I was 4, and I was performing in ballet companies when I was 10, and I did summer stock in Miami Beach when I was 12, and finally I said, 'I gotta go to Broadway.'

Wives are people who think it's against the law not to answer the phone when it rings.

Never play peek-a-boo with a child on a long plane trip. There's no end to the game. Finally I grabbed him by the bib and said, "Look, it's always gonna be me!"