Husband: a man who buys his football tickets four months in advance and waits until the day before his anniversary to buy his wife a gift.
Rita RudnerMen have better self-images than women. You know what I've never seen in a men's magazine? A makeover.
Rita RudnerWhen a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she will assume she has gained weight. When a man tries something from his closet that feels tight, he will assume the clothing has shrunk.
Rita Rudner