When I was a kid, I had two friends, and they were imaginary and they would only play with each other.

Men love watches with multiple functions. My husband has one that is a combination address book, telescope and piano.

I jogged for three miles once. It was the worst three hours of my life.

I paid attention to not being a comedian, and just concentrated on being who I was. That is what you have to do. If you say you are a comedian that has been done before. If you just be who you are then you are unique. Everyone is unique.

They usually have two tellers in my local bank, except when it's very busy, when they have one.

When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she will assume she has gained weight. When a man tries something from his closet that feels tight, he will assume the clothing has shrunk.

I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country; people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again.