I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.
I'm a very simple person. I'm very shallow. Shallow, simple, easily pleased: that's me.
Human nature is largely something that has to be overcome.
I had no desire to be a stand-up comic until I decided to do it.
All men are afraid of eyelash curlers. They don't understand them, and they don't want to get near them. I sleep with one under my pillow, instead of a gun.
Waiters and waitresses are becoming nicer and much more caring. I used to pay my check, they would say "Thank you." That's now escalated into "You care care of yourself, now." The other day I paid my check and the waiter said, "Don't put off that mammogram."