Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
Rita RudnerWaiters and waitresses are becoming nicer and much more caring. I used to pay my check, they would say "Thank you." That's now escalated into "You care care of yourself, now." The other day I paid my check and the waiter said, "Don't put off that mammogram."
Rita RudnerIf a man prepares dinner for you and the salad contains three or more types of lettuce, he is serious.
Rita Rudner