Men don't feel the urge to get married as quickly as women do because their clothes all button and zip in the front. Women's dresses usually button and zip in the back. We need men emotionally and sexually, but we also need men to help us get dressed.

Blondes have more fun, don't they? They must. How many brunettes do you see walking down the street with blond roots?

My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.

Good weather all the week, but come the weekend the weather stinks. When the weather is too hot they complain, too cold they complain, and when it's just right, they're watching TV.

I had no desire to be a stand-up comic until I decided to do it.

When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.

Impulse buying is not macho. Men rarely call the Home Shopping Network.