Men don't feel the urge to get married as quickly as women do because their clothes all button and zip in the front. Women's dresses usually button and zip in the back. We need men emotionally and sexually, but we also need men to help us get dressed.

Don't try to teach men how to do anything in public. They can learn in private; in public they have to know.

Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.

No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.

My new dress. Do you like it? It's from my favorite designer, On Sale.

I don't like when there's too much conversation because I'm shy and it makes me uncomfortable.

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.