Men don't feel the urge to get married as quickly as women do because their clothes all button and zip in the front. Women's dresses usually button and zip in the back. We need men emotionally and sexually, but we also need men to help us get dressed.

Not one man in a beer commercial has a beerbelly.

No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.

If it's attention you want, don't get involved with a man during play-off season.

A saleslady holds up an ugly dress and says, 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?

Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible; in a world where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle.

Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I've never seen a man walk into a party and say "Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed; get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo.