When men break up they want to remain friends. Why? Why can't they just get lost?
I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
I don't like when there's too much conversation because I'm shy and it makes me uncomfortable.
Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
Never take candy from strangers.
Husband: a man who buys his football tickets four months in advance and waits until the day before his anniversary to buy his wife a gift.