We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.

My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.

I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.

I'm a very simple person. I'm very shallow. Shallow, simple, easily pleased: that's me.

Individuality in dressing is not important to men. If they all look alike it means they haven't made a mistake.

I loved my mother very much, but she was not a good cook. Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before. In our house Thanksgiving was a time for sorrow.

Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.