I worry about Las Vegas schools. I hear in math, they only teach them to count to 21.

If it's attention you want, don't get involved with a man during play-off season.

I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.

Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.

Men don't feel the urge to get married as quickly as women do because their clothes all button and zip in the front. Women's dresses usually button and zip in the back. We need men emotionally and sexually, but we also need men to help us get dressed.

If a man prepares dinner for you and the salad contains three or more types of lettuce, he is serious.

Men love watches with multiple functions. My husband has one that is a combination address book, telescope and piano.