I just love dogs, and there really is no better companion than an animal.

Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?

I don't look back. I'm like a shark - I only look forward.

Going out to eat is expensive. I was out at one restaurant and they didn't have prices on the menu. Just faces with different expressions of horror.

Men who tell you they read the Ann Summers catalogue for the articles are lying

After you've dated someone it should be legal to stamp them with what's wrong with them so the next person doesn't have to start from scratch.

Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.