Women are more accommodating. If a woman drinks the last glass of apple juice in the refrigerator, she'll make more apple juice. If a man drinks the last glass of apple juice, he'll just put back the empty container.

Men love watches with multiple functions. My husband has one that is a combination address book, telescope and piano.

Buying something on sale is a very special feeling. In fact, the less I pay for something, the more it is worth to me.

I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.

Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.

Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.

Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why men need instant replay in sports. They've already forgotten what's happened.