Women are more accommodating. If a woman drinks the last glass of apple juice in the refrigerator, she'll make more apple juice. If a man drinks the last glass of apple juice, he'll just put back the empty container.

Men love watches with multiple functions. My husband has one that is a combination address book, telescope and piano.

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself "well, that's not going to happen

When I was a kid, I had two friends, and they were imaginary and they would only play with each other.

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

Not one man in a beer commercial has a beerbelly.