Women are more accommodating. If a woman drinks the last glass of apple juice in the refrigerator, she'll make more apple juice. If a man drinks the last glass of apple juice, he'll just put back the empty container.

It takes six months to get into shape and two weeks to get out of shape. Once you know this you can stop being angry about other things in life and only be angry about this.

Don't try to teach men how to do anything in public. They can learn in private; in public they have to know.

Most of the men sitting in first class on an airplane have really boring jobs.

When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.

I love to sleep. Do you? Isn't it great? It really is the best of both worlds. You get to be alive and unconscious.

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.