I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.

If it's attention you want, don't get involved with a man during play-off season.

My cousin just got married for the totally wrong reasons. She married a man for money. She wasn't real subtle about it. Instead of calling him her fiancé, she kept calling him her financee.

Men don't live well by themselves. They don't even live like people. They live like bears with furniture.

Men are very confident people. Even a sixty-year-old man with no arms thinks he could play in the Super Bowl if he had to.

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy, the first question I ask myself is: is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?

You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.