I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.

If a man prepares dinner for you and the salad contains three or more types of lettuce, he is serious.

I have been doing leg lifts faithfully for about fifteen years, and the only thing that has gotten thinner is the carpet where I have been doing the leg lifts.

I love to sleep. Do you? Isn't it great? It really is the best of both worlds. You get to be alive and unconscious.

All men would still really like to own a train set.

I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.

How can I have morning sickness when I don't get up till noon?