Men have better self-images than women. You know what I've never seen in a men's magazine? A makeover.

You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.

Yes, I've now got this nice little apartment in New York, one of those L-shaped ones. Unfortunately, it's a lower case l.

Never take candy from strangers.

My new dress. Do you like it? It's from my favorite designer, On Sale.

I had the most boring office job in the world...I used to clean the windows on envelopes.

Men don't live well by themselves. They don't even live like people. They live like bears with furniture.