Men have better self-images than women. You know what I've never seen in a men's magazine? A makeover.

My new dress. Do you like it? It's from my favorite designer, On Sale.

I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.

The logic was, there weren't too many female comedians, so I thought I might as well try a field that had fewer competitors than the field I was in, which was acting, singing and dancing.

Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible; in a world where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle.

I love to write jokes and that's all I think about.

You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty.