Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.

I adore being hitched. It's so extraordinary to discover one unique individual you need to irritate for whatever remains of your life.

Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?

To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'

If your husband has difficulty getting to sleep, the words 'we need to talk about our relationship' may help.

Men who tell you they read the Ann Summers catalogue for the articles are lying