Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?

Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.

Cats are a waste of fur.

Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.

Don't try to teach men how to do anything in public. They can learn in private; in public they have to know.

It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was.

My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.