I hate learning through experience. Just once I'd like to learn something because someone was nice enough to tell me in advance.

All men look at Dr. Ruth and wonder how she has gained all that sexual experience.

My new dress. Do you like it? It's from my favorite designer, On Sale.

It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was.

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.

I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.

All men look nerdy in black socks and sandals.