All men look nerdy in black socks and sandals.

I had the most boring office job in the world...I used to clean the windows on envelopes.

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.

I love to sleep. Do you? Isn't it great? It really is the best of both worlds. You get to be alive and unconscious.

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

Oh, my God. I've just told you how old I am. Nobody knows how old I am. I'm going to have to kill you now.