Never play peek-a-boo with a child on a long plane trip. There's no end to the game. Finally I grabbed him by the bib and said, "Look, it's always gonna be me!"

My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.

Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.

Men who write love letters don't live in this century.

Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?

I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.

Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.