Eye contact is a method utilised by a single woman to communicate to a man that she is interested in him. Many women find it difficult to look a man directly in the eyes, not because of shyness, but because a woman's eyes are not located in her chest.

Going out to eat is expensive. I was out at one restaurant and they didn't have prices on the menu. Just faces with different expressions of horror.

You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.

All men are afraid of eyelash curlers. They don't understand them, and they don't want to get near them. I sleep with one under my pillow, instead of a gun.

I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.

Husband: a man who buys his football tickets four months in advance and waits until the day before his anniversary to buy his wife a gift.

My new dress. Do you like it? It's from my favorite designer, On Sale.