I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
Most of the men sitting in first class on an airplane have really boring jobs.
I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.
Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.
When I want to end a relationship I just say, 'You know, I love you. I want to marry you. I want to have your children.' Sometimes they leave skid marks.
You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.