I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I'm lying.

I'm going to start water skiing someday...as soon as I can separate it from being dragged by a boat.

No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.

I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.

The older theory was, marry an older man because they're more mature. But the new theory is men don't mature. Marry a younger one.

My father was never very friendly. When I was growing up, I thought the doorbell ringing was a signal to pretend you weren't home.

You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty.