Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.

My husband is so confident that when he watches sports on television, he thinks that if he concentrates he can help his team. If the team is in trouble, he coaches the players from our living room, and if they're really in trouble, I have to get off the phone in case they call him.

Men have better self-images than women. You know what I've never seen in a men's magazine? A makeover.

Individuality in dressing is not important to men. If they all look alike it means they haven't made a mistake.

My cousin just got married for the totally wrong reasons. She married a man for money. She wasn't real subtle about it. Instead of calling him her fiancé, she kept calling him her financee.

I can see close up and my husband can see far away, so we're covered. He tells me who's in the movie and I tell him what's in his sandwich. Together we're human bifocals.

My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.