Husband: a man who buys his football tickets four months in advance and waits until the day before his anniversary to buy his wife a gift.

Women are more accommodating. If a woman drinks the last glass of apple juice in the refrigerator, she'll make more apple juice. If a man drinks the last glass of apple juice, he'll just put back the empty container.

Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.

If it's attention you want, don't get involved with a man during play-off season.

It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was.

Eye contact is a method utilised by a single woman to communicate to a man that she is interested in him. Many women find it difficult to look a man directly in the eyes, not because of shyness, but because a woman's eyes are not located in her chest.

Men love to be the first to read the newspaper in the morning. Not being the first is upsetting to their psyches.