Husband: a man who buys his football tickets four months in advance and waits until the day before his anniversary to buy his wife a gift.

It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was.

Husband: a man who buys his football tickets four months in advance and waits until the day before his anniversary to buy his wife a gift.

Men are less sentimental than women. No man has ever seen the movie THE WAY WE WERE twice, voluntarily.

Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.

I don't like when there's too much conversation because I'm shy and it makes me uncomfortable.

I'm a very simple person. I'm very shallow. Shallow, simple, easily pleased: that's me.