Wives are people who think it's against the law not to answer the phone when it rings.
Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy, the first question I ask myself is: is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
I knew so little about money I used to sign my check, "Love, Rita."
An amicable divorce is like a ventilated condom; it just doesn't work.
The older theory was, marry an older man because they're more mature. But the new theory is men don't mature. Marry a younger one.
Blondes have more fun, don't they? They must. How many brunettes do you see walking down the street with blond roots?