Be careful of men who are bald and rich; the arrogance of "rich" usually cancels out the nice of "bald".
Not one man in a beer commercial has a beerbelly.
Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, "Never take candy from strangers." And then they dressed me up and said, "Go beg for it." I didn't know what to do. I'd knock on people's doors and go, "Trick or treat."
I had no desire to be a stand-up comic until I decided to do it.
Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.
At the end of every year, I add up the time that I have spent on the phone on hold and subtract it from my age. I don't count that time as really living. I spend more and more time on hold each year. By the time I die, I'm going to be quite young.