Commitment is different in males and females. In females it is a desire to get married and raise a family. In males it means not picking up other women while out with one's girlfriend.

I rationalize shop. I buy a dress because I need change for gum.

Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the police came, he wouldn't admit he'd forgotten the code... he turned himself in.

I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.

I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.

Men who tell you they read the Ann Summers catalogue for the articles are lying

Good weather all the week, but come the weekend the weather stinks. When the weather is too hot they complain, too cold they complain, and when it's just right, they're watching TV.