Men don't live well by themselves. They don't even live like people. They live like bears with furniture.

Men do cry, but only when assembling furniture.

Men don't mature. Marry a younger one.

The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him

Blondes have more fun, don't they? They must. How many brunettes do you see walking down the street with blond roots?

Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.

I don't think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups.